Why Aren’t You Real: Empire Records

Sometimes I forget how much I love this movie. Sometimes someone asks me what’s one of your favorite movies and I stumble for a moment before I remember- Empire Records! Obviously this isn’t an award winning, audience stunning film, but I love it all the same. Rotten Tomatoes barely gives it a star but that doesn’t matter. Tonight I was able to watch it at Alamo Drafthouse and laughing and catcalling with the crowd made me practically pee my pants with joy.

Reasons I love Empire Records:

1. Because a declaration of love has never been so eloquent:

“And I did love you, and I still … only I didn’t realize that it really was love because it was more than love and it wasn’t just some stupid feeling in my stomach like everything else and I’ll never love anybody as much as you and I hate you! I hate you!”

2. It teaches how to deal with an armed assailant!

“Well you can’t kill me ‘cause I’m already dead. And I talked to God, and she says, ‘Yo, wassup?’ and she wants you to lose the gun.”

3. Empire Records teaches the importance of forgiveness. Even thief Warren who shoots up the place (with blanks) is welcomed back for a second chance.

4. Terrible music isn’t tolerated.

“I’m exercising my veto, man.”

5. It’s insanely quotable.

“I don’t feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren.”

“Well “Sinead O’Rebellion.” Shock me shock me shock me with that deviant behavior.”

“This music is the glue of the world Mark. It’s what holds it all together. Without this, life would be meaningless.”

See what I mean?

6. Best soundtrack ever! Check it out.







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