New Clan

Early last year I wrote about my indecision on the issue of changing my name. I realized last week that I never followed up on the issue and my decision. After the last few weeks of formally making the changes, I wanted to let you know I went for it. I struggled with the choice. I did not rush out to the DMV and the Social Security office (then again, these are not places you ever want to go to). I do, from time to time, feel the loss of my maiden name. I felt a strong identity with it.

Some of my friends have said their reason for wanting to change their name had to do with wanting the same name as their children (FYI they could take the woman’s name too…), but I grew up in a house where my half-sister had a different last name than I did. Is our relationship diminished by this? Did it affect our unit as a family? I never felt so. In contradiction to that though, when my parents divorced I asked my mother to keep her married name. It is only recently that I realized how difficult or frustrating that must have been at the time, to keep her identity tied with my father’s at a time when she was working hard to strike out on her own.

I’m working on a new identity of my own, one where I balance myself and my own interests with the personal and shared interests of my husband. So I’ve made the leap. I don’t know if this was the right choice and it sure was a pain in the butt to get new cards and get everything switched to my new name but I’m going for it nonetheless. I’ve added a new clan to the family. Or they’ve added me…



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