…Although sometimes I think I’m too big or too flabby or too plain. Regardless, for the most part I think I look good and that if I really wanted to lose weight I could just stop drinking beer and run more. No, thank you.
But somewhere along the way, I picked up “not good enough” issues. Just general, not smart enough, not clever enough issues. I don’t know why this occurred because I was certainly raised in an encouraging family where both my parents told me I was smarter than them. They both never doubted my intelligence although my dedication and follow through were often questioned (quite appropriately).
When did this happen? In the fifth grade I auditioned and acted in the Christmas play. I mean, I had lines! In high school I would never audition for anything. Not because I wasn’t interested, but just due to fear. Now? You’d have to convince me that no one would ever attend the play. No one. Not even a child.
This child is fully capable of writing a storybook and reading it aloud to a classroom full of strangers…and her grandmother.
I tell you this not because I’m hoping you’ll reply with ego boosting praise. I’m sharing because I think this is a phenomenon that happens to many women. I think there are a lot of women who wake up and think, when did I decide that I don’t deserve my life. When did I decide I don’t deserve what I want? It’s the #likeagirl campaign. The young girl is full of confidence and will conquer all. The adult woman acts like a wimp.
At a recent meeting I attended at UNCW a group of employers and UNCW faculty and staff discussed how a freshman will tell you how much they know about everything, but when you ask a senior their opinion they want you to tell them what to think. I know I’m not the only college graduate who can relate to this problem. A recent Wall Street Journal article discusses this issue here.
My new 2015 goal: I will not cut myself off from possibilities. If I want something, I will go after it. When I find a weakness, I will work to improve it. I will not take it as confirmation of my “not being good enough”. I hope you’ll consider doing the same.
Seeking Misadventure 