You Are Clearly Not a Drinker

Pregnancy in the early months is sort of strange. A lot is happening but you don’t feel any fun stuff, just weird things like your organs being in new places or your uterus growing. It is pretty much just uncomfortable.

As soon as I shared the big news, several women (mostly with grown children) got a little misty eyed over memories of their pregnancies and tiny babies. They immediately told me about baby’s first kick and talked of loving the life growing inside. Women with smaller children still seemed excited for me but wary eyes held back their true feelings. Each congratulations came with a bit of “Oh girl, you have no idea what’s coming.”

I have been so lucky thus far. I did not have morning sickness, just a queasiness that I could squelch with a handful of trail mix or a banana.  To date not a lot of heartburn or other forms of indigestion common in pregnancies. I have the upmost admiration for women who experience this and still manage to function like a human being. The first trimester I laid on the couch so much it practically molded to my body. I would quit eating dinner to slowly slump onto the table. Tyler would put away the unfinished food and put me straight to bed.

I haven’t gotten that burst of energy I am told comes in the second trimester. Phrases like “superwoman” and “nonstop nesting” have been thrown in my direction but haven’t taken root. Regardless I am glad to just feel like myself. I haven’t given up on naps but going to bed after dark no longer makes me feel hungover.

Now that I don’t go to bed at 7 pm I am faced more often with the reminder that I am living an alcohol free existence. For those who say abstaining from alcohol isn’t that bad, I say YOU ARE CLEARLY NOT A REGULAR DRINKER. (Imagine a really loud voice there, not necessarily me shouting.) Yes, it is easy to make the decision not to drink but that doesn’t mean I stop salivating over the smell of my husband’s hoppy IPA. I have to wipe the drool away when I see friends sipping a chilled glass of vino verde. I do indulge in a “taste” of their drinks as there is much evidence pointing to occasional drinking being safe but I haven’t felt comfortable making the choice to go beyond the rare sip.

I’ve spent the last 13 weeks trying to find fun replacements for my sober drinks. Where once I scoffed at mocktails, now I’m scouring the internet to find them. So far I’ve replaced an evening libation with:

La Croix– It’s an obvious choice. It’s bubbly and has just enough flavor to make you feel like a person who is actually choosing to drink this voluntarily.

Martinelli’s Sparking Apple Cider– This must be served in a wine glass or you will not feel fancy and that defeats the purpose. As a child sparking grape juice was what children were served at Thanksgiving. Always in a wine glass! Even as an adult apple cider is delish and the bubbly takes it to a new level. There came a point where this became a little sweet for me to drink regularly but it made the transition into sober living very helpful.

Izze Sodas– This is another choice on the sweet side but it comes in a glass bottle and in a million yummy flavors. Cover it up with a Freaker and you can pretend you’re drinking a beer like everyone else.

Whole Foods Italian Sodas– Get the blood orange one! It is delicious! It is not as sweet as an Izze but enough that it feels like a good treat.

Flavored waters- I always make flavored waters in the summer to help me increase my water intake but this summer it is especially helpful. Right now I’ve got one small cut up cucumber floating in a large mason jar of water in my fridge. I’ll also be making water with mint, watermelon, lemon, lime and who knows what else! The choices are endless! I can make as many as I want because I’m sober and have a ridiculous amount of time for this kind of thing!

I was drinking kombucha in the early days of my pregnancy but unfortunately the smell puts me off a bit now. I’ve had to take a hiatus from making it. Next time I’ve got a backyard party of some kind I’m going to make a pitcher of one of these drinks I’ve recently discovered. Recently I went to a porch party where they had horchata and kept the booze separate because that’s what the best people every do!

(If you think this was post was sponsored because I am making product recommendations- bless you. Go ahead and believe that. )

Oh tiny, insignificant pregnancy woes! In other news we have a sonogram this week which I’m really looking forward to. We have an app that tells us what size produce the baby is and it is nice to have evidence that our baby is not actually an avocado or a turnip or a sweet potato (current produce size status). I’m having a hard time this week not imagining a Mr. or Mrs Potato Head floating around in there. Also, I felt my very first baby movement which is really strange to wrap your head around but also pretty cool.

18 weeks bathroom selfie. I apologize if you can tell that I haven’t cleaned the mirror.

If anyone has a pregnancy blog to share with me, I’d appreciate it! Only slightly dysfunctional moms please. I need to be able to relate.

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